The Culture Of Fatherhood
From Solidarity to Stories: A Father's Journey in Publishing
If my personal style reflects anything, it's my beard, a good hat, and my family. Years ago, I grew my beard for nine months as a small sign of solidarity with my wife during her pregnancy with our first child, my son. During this time, I fasted and adopted a plant-based diet. No attempt at solidarity with a woman during pregnancy is in vain—it's a man's duty, a lifetime commitment to raising his children. What I learned is that this is the only gift a man can give back to his wife for her sacrifice of her life, not just physically, but emotionally and professionally. My wife's corporate experience changed as she carried our child and after she gave birth. At the time, I was clueless about the trifecta of challenges she experienced as a woman working in the corporate fashion industry.
Despite these challenges, family moments were always treasured. Throughout our life together, we added to our tribe, and along the way, I became a writer. In a sense, I began documenting our experiences with our children through children's books—or for now, our first children's book, A Beard Like My Dad, now available at Barnes & Noble across the country and at influential family institutions like the Sugar Hill Children's Museum. This Sunday, I'll be reading and workshopping a preview of our new title, A Hat Like My Dad.
The Spark of an Idea
The inspiration struck during a walk with our family in Brooklyn. My son tugged at my beard (I still hadn't cut it) and let out the most joyous giggle. In that moment, a light bulb went off: "This could be a book." In a brief internal reflection, I wondered if there was a book in my own library that expressed the connection between beards and fatherhood, or one that celebrated the unity and diversity of fatherhood itself.
In my analysis, fatherhood themes were often portrayed through animals rather than human culture—an effort for broad commercial appeal, of course, since animals are hilarious and fun. It took me a while, but I love me some Bluey. Despite these disparities, Natasha Tarpley's work came to mind, along with Hair Love and the animated classic A Snowy Day. But beards are uniquely different—beards are cultural, and beards are a dynamic element of manhood.
Two Years in the Making
Writing the book took time—two years to be exact from that moment in Brooklyn. But when I finished, with the help of my wife, we created a work I was proud of. Though it was outside of fashion, it remained very stylish thanks to the prolific artist Melvin Nesbitt Jr.
I wrote the book because I've witnessed the distinction and discrimination faced by men for their facial hair choices. One notable adjustment was the Yankees declaring that "well-groomed beards" are now an acceptable accessory to their long-standing uniform dress code. Even this update was met with backlash. But for me, the core drive for the book came from witnessing three things I had in common with dads throughout the boroughs: our style, our beards, and our love for our children. Bringing these similarities together, with New York as the backdrop, transformed an idea into over 2,500 books printed, nationwide distribution through Barnes & Noble and a buyer who believed in the vision while others had yet to grasp the value proposition ignored and or rejected from publishers and distributors.
A Special Father's Day
This all makes this Father's Day special. On Sunday, I'll be reading at the Sugar Hill Children's Museum. I invite you to join me in celebrating fatherhood as I'll be giving away books, making collages, and celebrating the dads of the city.
What's your story with your dad's beard that you're willing to share? You can purchase A Beard Like My Dad at BarnesandNoble.com and be on the lookout for A Hat Like My Dad this November.
Happy Father's Day to all the dads in my network, directly or indirectly.
